AFPanto 2001 – Part Fifteen – The Plot Goes South
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[Good afternoon, and welcome to another edition of Pantomime
Theatre. Today’s episode may contain traces of nuts. Recap:
Yesterdays episode explained the entire future of the plot,
leading to a pun casting Jack as the “Lord of the Things”.
Realising that 110 lines is a little far to buildup to a
single line, today’s episode might not do that. I make no
promises, I mean, it’s not as if mixing LotR with SW and Panto
gives me a lack of overly-dramatic lines to work with. “Nobody
tosses an Ewok”, for example. Yet I digress. Often, and
sometimes running to several paragraphs before I get to the
point. Which is, that the archives of the story so far are at
. Have A Lot Of Fun.]
Sub-wars of the Things, Part Three. The Fellowship of the Things.
————————————————————————————————-
“Iris?”
“Captain?”
“Make Ping”
Ping
On the Ohio Evans, a sound event occurred.
“What was that?” asked Jack.
“Damn,” said Captain Peter “I think that was an empirical ship
detecting us”
They hurried onto the main deck, and the sound event happened
again.
Jack pointed at a box “What’s that?” he asked.
“That” said Peter “is the machine to detect Pings”
“It’s the most expensive thing on the entire ship” said Julie
“It costs,” added Peter “Over a quarter of a million Klinks”
“But we got it for less,” added Julie, the accountant, “You
see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to, and
that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not
the capital account.”
Peter and Julie looked at each other, and then, in unison,
each put a polygonal coin into a box on the top of the
machine, into which it fell with a
clink
Jack looked confused, but Peter told him not to worry.
“Basically, when it pings, it means an Empirical ship has
detected us. This is a bad thing. Now, I’m going to do the
‘Run for our lives’ bit, I suggest that you and Mr Ogden man
the guns and try to slow them down a bit”
“But I don’t know how to shoot” said Jack.
“Then I suggest you learn” suggested Peter “Quickly”.
——
“Captain Irish, Sir?”
“Corporal Maessen?”
“It’s the Ohio Evans”
“Aha, The great Captain Peter falls into our hands.” smiled
the Captain “How far away are we?”
“About 100 metres, Sir” said Iris,
“Corporal Maessen? Whose side are you on?”
“Sorry, Sir. 325 feet, Sir”
“Open a communicate-line to them”
“Yes sir”
——
“They’re hailing us” said Julie
“Open channel D” said Peter.
“Opening” said Julie.
“I am Captain Andrew Irish of the Empirical
HSS Zero Beta One
Kenya Beta. You will surrender your vessel and passengers to
us, or you will die.”
“Captain Irish” said Peter “Long time no see. I’m sorry, not
today. Bye!”, broke off the communication and put the engine
into full speed.
“Guns” he instructed “Now!”
——
“Damn him! Fire at will”
“Captain?” asked Corporal Maessen
“If this is a cheap ‘William isn’t here’ joke, you’re swimming
home”
“Captain, I think I recognised the kid in the background from
a bulletin”
“Right, Send a capture from the commslink with the attack
report.” said Captain Irish “Drive room! Full ahead both”
——
“They’re right behind us. Brace yourself, Julie, I’m going for
a hard left turn”
——
“Turning Left, Sir”
“Drive room! Left-hand down a bit”
——
Meanwhile, Jack was getting to grips with the weaponry. It
wasn’t difficult, just a case of point and shoot…
——
“Captain! They’re shooting at us!”
“Yes, Corporal, I can see that.”
“They’ve hit a radar array, we are losing contact with base”
“Full speed ahead”
“If you say so sir”
“I do. We
must get Captain Peter”
——
“They’re still gaining! Evasive manurers”
——
“They’re dotting around the ocean, sir!”
“I can see that! Left hand down a bit… right hand down a
bit… up a bit… be careful of the rock formations.”
“Under it or over it, Sir?”
“Over… No… Under…. NO! Left hand down a bit… no! Right
hand down a bit! No, pull Up,
PULL UP!!
PULL UP
NOW!!!”
There was a horrible ripping of metal from somewhere below
them.
“Base Deck? Report!”
“Base deck lookout ‘ere sir. And I’d just like to say that I
very nearly
wasn’t here, sir”
“Just report, Goldstein”
“The ‘ull is solid sir, but badly damaged. Suggest we head for
surface before the pressure does it in, sir”
“Agreed.” Damn that Ohio Evan’s manureriablity.
——
“They’re rising. We got away.” said Julie with some relief.
“Were are we going?”
“Binksville. We need to get the news of Jack spread out”
While they sped towards Snow White’s domain, Peter took Jack
to the storage deck, where piles of boxes and gadgets littered
the area. Jack picked one up, and attempted to play with it
for a while.
“Do you know what it does?”
“I’ve no idea” replied Jack.
Peter suddenly looked older. “But you have to” he said.
“You… You are our last hope”.
Julie shouted from the deck, and they both went running.
“It’s a big rock.” said Peter “I can’t wait to tell my
friends. They haven’t got a rock this big”
Julie pointed down.
The gigantic shape wasn’t attached to the ground.
“That’s not a rock” said Julie.
“You can’t /get/ submarines that size” said Peter.
“Couldn’t”, answered Julie.
“What could something like that
do?” asked Jack.
“I don’t think we ever want to find out”
The crew gaped as they looked upon the Depth Star.
———————————-
‘till tomorrow
Yours in total sincerity
Aquarion
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